Posers

[Faulkner]

And, a special Fathers Day message - and pose!

Fathers Day stories are always about the great things fathers can do. One of the great things my dad did was the day after Christmas 1963 he loaded me, all my brothers and a bunch of neighborhood kids into our '59 Plymouth station wagon and drove us to the Ocala SEARS store to buy the very new and very first action figure G.I. Joes in the whole world.
The Orlando SEARS had sold out for the holiday. The stores were not sure a doll for boys would sell very well. The major retailers and local toy stores under estimated the popularity of the new toy soldier. By Christmas Eve their shelves were bare.
So my dad placed a long distance call to the Ocala SEARS store. They still had a few on their shelves as Ocala was a much smaller town 60 years ago than Orlando. My dad became a legend for driving us all out of town to buy the last remaining best toys of that year.

Or my son for instance. Delivering my youngest granddaughter at home on the living room floor because the baby was in too much of a hurry to wait for the hospital. Do you think that early arrival will be mentioned much on future Father's Days?

But this story is about the one thing my father couldn't do. And that was tell a joke. He didn't know that. You'd never convince him his comedic timing was a little off. And that never deterred him from attempting to tell a joke. In fact he had a favorite joke he told constantly;

"What did the monkey say when he slammed his tail in the door?"

We'd heard that joke a million times and we'd all roll our eyes and wait for the punchline...

"It won't be long now!!!"

On that trip out of town to buy the G.I. Joes we'd ask him how much time was left before we got to the store. He'd grin and start the joke for the millionth and one time.

"What did the monkey say when he slammed his tail in the door?"

We kids would groan a little and repeat in unison along with him;

"It won't be long now!!!"

It's been a couple decades since I heard that old joke. I miss it now. I'd give anything to hear the delight in his voice one more time when he delivered his favorite zinger.

Toward the end I'd stop by the house every day on my way home from work to go over old times with him. Each day it was a little harder for him to take a breath. Each breath more difficult than the one before.
Pulmonary Fibrosis was turning his lungs into leather although he never smoked a cigarette in his life.
His condition may have been the result of all the asbestos on his battleship in the Pacific during WW2. It didn't matter he said. Every sailor made sacrifices. One of his just happened to come 70 years after the fact.
On my visits we'd chit chat. Sometimes reminisce about that old car and how dependable she was. About what a hoot we all had on the trip to Ocala.
But it was getting late. I hugged him as hard as I dared. Shook his hand and thanked him for all the great adventures he took us on as kids. I should have got his autograph. He had an elegant old hand signature that no one could duplicate.
I started for the door. When I got there I half turned and asked; "How much time ya got left, dad?"
He smiled and asked me; "What'd the monkey say?"

Copyright Wm. D. Niepert, 2020

[Faulkner]

Some family pix, I'm guessing around 1967... I frankly don't remember this '59 wagon.